When I tell sensible, rational people that I have seen the band Phish 44 times, most look at me like I’m a little crazy. I don’t blame them. It’s not easy for the average person to grasp the concept of seeing 44 concerts, never mind 44 concerts by the same band. Now imagine their reaction when I tell them Phish is a distant second on my most-seen list, because on Saturday, November 29th, 2008, I saw a band called The Breakfast for the 250th time. Well, actually… there is no reaction. They just stand there, face blank, eyes glazed, looking like they got hit by lightning. I might as well tell them that I walked on the moon or that I slept with Heidi Klum; the average human mind has absolutely no frame of reference for such an extraordinary experience. No doubt about it: this is not normal behavior.
Or is it? And why in the name of Les Paul would anybody do such a thing? Can any band possibly be that good?
The answers lie in two parts: why I came and why I stayed.
My first encounter with The Breakfast was a complete accident. Walking past a dorm on my college campus, I heard live music in the basement and wandered in to check it out. Next thing I knew it was four hours later, and I had unquestionably experienced the single most insane and incredible event I had ever been a part of. The music was so good that I immediately knew this band would have a huge impact on my life.
Over the next two years, The Breakfast played locally on a regular basis, and about 50 of us present that first evening piled up 25-40 shows apiece. We often went to shows together. Many things brought us back time and time again. The musical product was very high quality and inexpensive. Since the band is experimental, we never saw the same set list twice, and they always switched up song arrangements.. This made each show a unique event, unlike many bands that play the same show every night. We went for the music, and the music always justified the trip.
But a funny thing happened somewhere around the three-year, 75-show milestone. The music was still great. Heck, it was better than ever. But when you reach this level of experience with a band, sometimes you know too much. You can tell if they’re even the slightest bit off. A very good show that blows the minds of all the newbies in the crowd might not scintillate you like it once did, because you have seen 20 shows that were better. Though the band has a large catalog, and they are musically adventurous, there’s no escaping the fact that you have seen some songs upwards of 50 times. I call this phenomenon “band fatigue,” and if you are fortunate enough to see a band this many times, you will inevitably experience it.
Yet despite some early band fatigue, I never had any desire to stop going. The music is what got me there, but something else made me stay. I am not the only person who sees The Breakfast with such relentless frequency. There are scores of others around New England who do the same. We see each other all the time, and we all seem to like each other a lot. Since the band plays small clubs it creates a family atmosphere for us. In fact, there is something Utopian about our collective relationship. We only see each other in the best of circumstances. Every time we get together it is a major event. Even though I see my Breakfast friends with a little less frequency than my core friends at home, the bonds are just as strong. With core friends, you sometimes have to discuss and endure the ennui and challenge of everyday life. These friends are vital because they help you get through this. But with band friends, it’s a party all the time. An impossibly high percentage of our time together is spent at fun factor 10. We all understand something that the outside world doesn’t, and this shared feeling has an incredible ability to span large gaps of time and distance. I am on “I love you” terms with several band friends, and it feels totally normal, but if I ever said that to my friends at home, it would be the most awkward moment we ever had. It was around year six and show 200 when I realized that I still loved the music, but the most indispensable part of my experience was now the friendships.
So what of the normality of seeing a band 250 times? It has provided me with opportunities to make incredible friends for life, to travel to every corner of the country, to fall in love, to escape everyday life, to see great art, to relax my soul. These are things everyone desires. There are many outlets in this world offering these things. I just happen to have chosen this one. Seems perfectly sensible to me.
-Seth Wolfman
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