There is a level of guaranteed fun when musicians play songs everyone knows. Isn’t this why wedding planners hire DJs to play “Celebration,” “YMCA,” and a dizzy smattering of “party jams” at receptions – the same old songs DJs play ad nauseum at those weird Friday night, Red Lion Hotel lounge-nightclub shindigs? Isn’t this why cover bands, 80’s nights, karaoke, and Girl Talk pack in crowds like a post-Katrina Superdome? Well, then this must be why The Portland Cello Project and friends decided to organize a dance party built on a live performance of twenty-four sing-a-long hits, from “Car Wash” to Beyoncé’s “Crazy in Love."
The stage was comfortably cluttered by the likes of five cellists, two drummers, a bassist, two horn players, backup singers, dancers, and various other guest performers that were brought out song to song. The full cast of characters included: Sallie Ford, Nathan Jr. (of Duover, M Ward, Sea Wolf), Brian Perez (of Musee Mecanique, Baby Ketten Karaoke), John Brophy (Gingerbread Patriots), Rebecca Gates, Dave Depper, Shenandoah Davis (Grand Hallway), Christopher Francis Schiel, Micah Rabwin (Musee Mecanique), Jack and Adam Barnett, Danny Coble, Jack Saturn, Steven Bak, Ellen Werner, Kirstin Holovnia, Ashia, and Skip (of PCP).
It was a classic Portland clusterfuck of youthful hyperbole and stoic professionalism. Pabst bottles sat in custom sheet-music stand cup holders, cherry-garnished martini glasses hid beneath chairs, and classically trained musicians belted out note after note of songs you’ve only otherwise heard played (non-satirically) through some sterile department store’s crackly speakers.
The first batch of songs amused but struggled to generate the kind of crowd enthusiasm one would expect from an “extreme cello dance party.” Yet when Christopher Francis Schiel (of Christopher Francis and Son) appeared center stage, eight songs deep, with his wispy, asymmetrical blonde locks cascading over one black-outlined eye and one strap of his white suspenders hanging down, twitching and convulsing while he sang “Get Your Freak On,” the crowd lost it.
It certainly wasn’t a ‘tough act to follow’ scenario for Ellen Werner when she followed-up Scheil’s act with a seamless cover of “99 Luftballoons.” In fact, the energy sustained itself all the way through Doug Jenkin’s convincing mock-up of David Bowie’s “Let’s Dance,” and Stephen Bak’s spirited version of “The Way You Make Me Feel;” a track penned by the most famous of all karaoke-night ghosts, Michael Jackson.
Alas, a twenty-four song set crammed with choreography and theatrics requires a short intermission. It was long enough to grab a chilly libation, squeegee off the sweat, and recharge for the good stuff, like extreme dance party coordinator and reputably dashing Portland local, Brian Perez spraying George Michael’s “Careless Whisper” and “I Want Your Sex” all over the room and turning all the ladies into blubbering puddles of water.
Indeed a tough act to follow, Jack and Adam Barnett’s “Dancing in the Streets” could have been tossed out and the show would have been better for it. But Ashia of PCP picked up the slack with her “tastefully hot” cover of Paula Abdul’s “Cold Hearted Snake” (whose original version does feature quite a bit of cello action – watch Abdul’s video and tell me that it doesn’t give you chills … or something else.).
John Brophy stole the show with a surprisingly moving, mock-melodrama tinged performance of Toto’s “Africa” -- my new, "old favorite" song whose 1982 video counterpart looks like a good candidate for the next ‘Literal Translation’ music video.
After John Brophy wrapped up the set with his ensemble's take on “Heaven is a Place on Earth,” the crowd demanded an encore. What would it be? Oh, the suspense! Which illustrious artist was missing from what seemed to be the most perfect musical-throwback night of the year? All I have to say is that it’s “too late to save myself from falling, I took a chance and changed your way of life / but you misread my meaning when I met you, closed the door and left me blinded by the light …”
Set-list:
1. Let's Go Crazy - Prince
2. (I Like the Way You Work It) No Diggity - Blackstreet
3. Car Wash – Rose Royce
4. Freak Out (Le Freak) - Chic
5. Naughty Girl - Beyoncé
6. Psycho Killer – Talking Heads
7. Creep - TLC
8. Get Your Freak On – Missy Elliott
9. 99 Luftballoons - Nena
10. Let’s Dance – David Bowie
11. Happy Birthday
12. The Way You Make Me Feel – Michael Jackson
13. Careless Whisper – George Michael
14. I Want Your Sex – George Michael
15. Dancing In The Streets – Martha and the Vandellas
16. Cold Hearted Snake – Paula Abdul
17. Bust a Move – Young MC
18. Crazy in Love - Beyoncé
19. Eyes Without A Face – Billy Idol
20. A Little Respect - Erasure
21. Africa - Toto
22. Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel
23. Heaven Is A Place On Earth – Belinda Carlisle
24. Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me – Elton John
