It was a damp and menacing night. The citizens of Portland shrank away from the darkness like frightened mice, scurrying to the warm lights of bars and indoor festivities. The streets consequently looked lonely. Fear of the night offering little other than boredom, and dispirited conversation loomed ominously. But if tedium and lethargy were tyrannical ghosts feasting on the sleepy folks of Portland, The Quick and Easy Boys were the city’s Ghostbusters.
Careful to keep their crime-fighting identity secret, the Boys disguised themselves as The Three Amigos--a clever choice, considering their appearance was scheduled immediately after an outright lullaby performance by Portland’s The Pretty Poor Know, who maliciously unleashed the ghosts of nod on all waking life within earshot. Like Dorothy in her field of poppies, the audience swayed slowly to PPK’s moody rhythms, euphoric at first, then alarmed at their haphazard surrender to dreamland; everyone began to sleep-talk. A lucid dream commenced where middle-aged men dressed as penguins drank beer and twirled about the dance floor. Victorian dandies pranced across the stage, played guitars, and sang “Oh! Mother!” while a scantily-eyebrow’d female bathed in blue light whispered softly into a microphone. Speed Racer discussed pension plans and the Wall Street Occupation with Robin Hood over cocktails, and pixies of all shapes and colors floated around the cacti and dried flowers that lined the stage front.
As much as we all enjoyed the comfortable absurdity of this dream-state, it was the Saturday before Halloween and all (i.e., grown-ups' Halloween). So, desperate to rekindle the hot blues-rock vigor of the opening band, The Resolectrics, the crowd collectively exorcised the ghosts of nod from the room and summoned our flesh-and-blood saviors, The Quick and Easy Boys, to save our tired souls.
Indeed, like a beam of light they began to chant “Beam of Light,” a holy hymn from their first album, effectively cleansing the room of evil fatigue: “The beam of light up in the sky is gonna lift you up, gonna get you high.” And it did. With the help of Reverend Sean Badder’s glitter 2Pac (which, of course, is another name for Jesus) belt buckle, James Russel’s heavenly electric guitar playing, and Mike Goetz’ angelic antics (he later did a spot-on impression of a nude Adam in the garden of Eden), we were awakened from wretched sleep. Borrowing from the old-time gospel of Waylon Jennings, Billy Joe Armstrong, and David Bowie, they stirred our spirits with “Good Hearted Woman,” “Dominated Love Slave,” and “Moonage Daydream,” while (inflatable) humans and sheep were offered to the hungry masses as sacrificial gifts. Communion beverages were offered in abundance at the altar, so we partook in several over the course of the night. This enhanced the spirited dancing and singing until a revival of sorts launched us toward a climactic ending. The Amigos bid us adios with a generous encore performance, and the ushers ushered us out into the darkness once again. But the night was no longer menacing. The Quick and Easy Boys had armored us with righteous, uplifting music that could slay even the most sinister, sleep-slinging sandman.
